Learning to love your perimenopausal body can be tough. Seemingly overnight the reflection in the mirror is unfamiliar. Your body evolves, your feelings shift, and even your scent might change. It’s not uncommon for women to feel like a stranger to themselves during this time.
Common Changes
During perimenopause your body undergoes hormonal changes that can lead to a variety symptoms.
You may notice changes to your menstrual cycle, but the classic signs like shorter or longer cycles, missed periods, or irregular or heavy bleeding don’t need to be present in order to be in perimenopause. Often symptoms show up before there are any noticeable changes to your menstrual cycle.
Most women know about hot flashes and night sweats. But many of us are not prepared for the sleep disturbances, the vaginal and vulvar changes like dryness and pain during sex, or the weight redistribution to our waists that seems to appear overnight.
Some of the scarier symptoms in perimenopause include mood swings, rage, anxiety, and depression. These moods changes are often among the symptoms women experience early on and they often aren’t able to connect the dots.
This blog from Women Living Better provides a visual of the unpredictable chaos of wildly fluctuating estrogen and lower levels of progesterone that characterize the menopause transition. This hormonal chaos contributes to a wide variety of symptoms and a perimenopausal body that most women do not recognize.
What The Hell Is Going On?
Figuring out your mental and physical symptoms can be overwhelming. Perimenopause is not only a time of fluctuating and ultimately declining hormones, it’s also a time of peak life stress. It can be hard to dissect what’s going on.
Take sex for example. Maybe you used to enjoy it. And now, it doesn’t even cross your mind. Could it be because:
If you just read through that list and answered, yes. All of the above. Know that you aren’t alone.
We’re all navigating bodies that are behaving and looking differently. It’s frustrating and scary. And probably wreaking havoc on all of your relationships, not just the one with the person you have sex with.
The point is that figuring what the hell is going on can take some time. Yes, your hormones are very likely at play. But maybe you have relationship challenges that need to be addressed. Perhaps you are like most women who are holding up the sky, and that stress has become debilitating. You might even realize that you need to start putting yourself first, but just thinking about how to try to do that makes your brain hurt.
The first step is to get help.
Get Help
Every woman deserves care and support during their menopausal transition. You do not need to put up with symptoms or ‘just get through it’. If your symptoms are impacting your quality of life, get help. And even if you aren’t experiencing symptoms, you need to know about the increased health risks that happen during the menopause transition.
Talk to your healthcare provider about symptoms and the opportunity you have to prevent disease. Ideally find one who understands the menopause transition. Or consider one of the many virtual clinics offering comprehensive menopause support like SanoMidLife.
Understanding these changes will enable you to take proactive steps to maintain your health and quality of life during perimenopause and beyond.
How to Love Your Perimenopausal Body
As we’ve navigated our symptoms, we’ve come to see perimenopause as an opportunity. We’re learning to prioritize ourselves, and that our worth is not determined by pleasing others. Taking up space is something we’re getting more comfortable with. We’re learning to ask for what we need and setting boundaries. The focus is now about strength and longevity. And yes, we are learning to love our perimenopausal bodies.
Here’s what’s been working for us:
Reframe Perimenopause
Perimenopause kicked our butts. When we finally found help and started to get some relief, we were able to see this time as an incredible opportunity prioritize, and rediscover ourselves. Instead of resisting the changes in our bodies, we’re now working to understand them. We’re creating different goals for ourselves and putting our well-being at the top of our to-do lists. And it’s helping. A lot.
Focus on Different Numbers
The simple act of choosing to focus on your healthspan instead of constantly trying to find ways to make yourself small can be very empowering. We’ve stopped focusing on achieving a smaller dress size and instead are focused on living well to the age of 100.
We’re also now buying clothes that fit instead of clothes that will fit when we lose however many pounds.
If we may: stop being fixated on the fact that you used to wear a smaller size. Ignore the labels! Instead, celebrate your current body shape by dressing in clothes that make you feel confident and comfortable. You can still wear clothes that you love – just get the right size. Nothing looks more incredible than clothes that fit properly.
Learn to Listen to Your Body
Find ways to take a moment. Take a yoga class. Check out a technique like breathwork. Or just set a reminder to stand up at your desk and take some deep breaths. And here’s a big one: rest when you’re tired. Sit on the couch and set a timer. Even just 5 minutes to ‘just sit’ can make a big difference.
Learning to stop and tune into your body is a powerful tool.
That said, resting when you need to can be challenging. If you’re not sleeping – get help. If you feel persistent anxiety or depression, get help from your medical provider and work to understand what’s going on. Your body communicates its needs, often through signals like stress or fatigue. Don’t ignore the whispers. Or the screaming.
Understand What Eating Well Means
Eating well. Do you know what this actually means? You’ve heard eat a balanced diet. Eat more protein. Increase your fibre. Stay away from processed food. Examine your relationship with alcohol. Try intermittent fasting. No wait, don’t try intermittent fasting. Oh, and make sure you’re getting the right kind of carbs, along with all of the protein and fibre. And don’t forget the healthy fats. It’s. Completely. Overwhelming.
Then add in all of the quick fix promises and magic bullets bombarding your social media feed and it’s no wonder we’re lost.
Trust us, we’ve tried E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. and there are no quick fixes or magic bullets.
We’re finally finding success when it comes to our weight. And the key has been about healing our relationship with food and to stop fighting our body’s needs. You can read here about what’s been working of us.
Move It
And lift it. Regular exercise has become non-negotiable. We aim to get 150 minutes of moderate cardio a week to mange stress and keep our hearts healthy. And we’ve started lifting weights to help manage our weight. And more importantly to preserve our bone health and our balance, and ultimately maintain our independence as we age to 100.
Start small. Like a walk around the block if that’s where you’re at and build from there. Find activities that you enjoy, whether it’s walking, swimming, or a dance class. Staying active isn’t just about weight loss. It’s about keeping your body strong and reducing stress.
For us it’s also been about learning to take up space and stop trying to keep ourselves small.
Practice Gratitude
Get in the habit of being grateful for your body and all that it does for you. Replace the critical thoughts in your head with ones that are kind and supportive. Say goodbye to Regina George! Pay attention to how you talk to and about yourself.
Would you speak that way to a friend? We didn’t think so. Start practicing being kind to yourself. And some day soon you’ll start to believe it. Loving your perimenopausal body really does start from the inside out.
