It’s official. I’m an empty nester!
On August 30th, my son Fynn moved into residence at Wilfrid Laurier University, just down the road from us here in Waterloo. I thought the proximity would soften the blow of him leaving home. I was wrong.
On move-in day, I walked from my husband’s work to Fynn’s residence and I felt like I was going to throw up. The irony was not lost on me – he’s literally a 5-minute walk away – and here I was, in full panic mode.
But what I’m learning about empty nesting is that logic and distance have absolutely nothing to do with the heart-punch of watching your one-and-only become independent. Even when that independence happens just five minutes away.
Empty nesting is about:
- sitting in his bedroom at 2pm on a Tuesday, feeling this weird mix of proud and sad and completely untethered all at once.
- having endless amounts of time to think about who I am now beyond ‘Fynn’s mom,’ and who I want to become in this next chapter.
- reconnecting with my husband and figuring out what our relationship looks like now that our shared project of raising a human is in maintenance mode rather than active construction.
- and (perhaps most challenging of all) it’s about the shift from daily face-to-face interactions to carefully crafted text messages that I overthink for twenty minutes before hitting send.
Because if I actually sent him every thought I had, he’d for sure block my number. So I try to tamp down the crazy and just be the chill mom who respects boundaries.
Only cause we’re friends, here’s what the unfiltered crazy and the internal editing process looks like…
So that’s my life now. Translating ‘I MISS YOUR FACE’ into acceptable emojis and pretending I’m totally fine with thumbs-up responses.
Apparently it gets easier. And I’m starting to get excited about what this next chapter might hold for me (stay tuned, I have some ideas brewing).
And if you’re also in the ‘staring at your phone waiting for literally any sign of life from your newly independent kid’ club… Welcome! The meetings are daily, and we serve wine.
xoxo,
Michelle
