Episode Transcript
Speaker 0
Hi there. Volva speaking. We need to talk. For years now, you've been calling me the wrong name. I'm the vulva, not the vagina. I'm all the external bits you can see. My neighbor, the vagina, she's the internal tunnel connecting me to your uterus, you know, the baby highway. Different parts, different names. It's pretty hard to address dry uncomfortable situations when you don't even know which one of us needs the attention. Now that we're properly introduced, can you please hook me up with some Iris? Their water based moisturizer and lube are exactly what I need. No irritating fragrances, just clean ingredients to keep me happy and well hydrated, not dry and disgruntled. Eternally grateful for the hydration and finally getting my name right. Signing off, x o x o, your vulva.
Speaker 1
And right now, our listeners get twenty percent off all purchases at love my iris dot com. Just use code t I p twenty. That's t I p two zero at l o v e m y I r I s dot com.
Speaker 2
Welcome to this is perimenopause, the podcast where we delve into the transformative journey of perimenopause and beyond. I'm one of your hosts, Michelle.
Speaker 1
And I'm your other host, Michelle. And we know firsthand how confusing, overwhelming, and downright lonely this phase of life can be.
Speaker 2
Join us as we share real life stories and expert advice to help you navigate this journey and advocate for your best health.
Speaker 1
We used to think menopause signaled an end, but really, it's just the beginning. Nobody prepares you for this part. One day you have a sex life, and then suddenly, you don't. Maybe it hurts. Maybe you just can't be bothered. Or maybe you feel like you've been living in someone else's body, and you have no idea how to feel sexy or desirable anymore. Well, you're not alone, and you're definitely not broken, which is why we're so excited about today's conversation with doctor Ariel Bush Frolic, who specializes in helping women navigate their sexual challenges that come with perimenopause and menopause. Doctor Ariel is a clinical psychologist who specializes in sex and couples therapy, working with people through major life transitions from fertility and parenthood to menopause and beyond. Licensed in both Ontario and Quebec, she's passionate about helping women who are struggling to reconnect with their sexuality during midlife. From understanding complex factors affecting our libido to practical solutions for common issues, this episode is packed with information that will change how you think about sex during midlife. It's a really good one ladies, so let's get into it. Doctor. Ariel, we're so excited to have you here today. Thank you for coming.
Speaker 3
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1
Before we get into it, we'd love to know a little bit more about how you came to be a clinical psychologist and more specifically specializing in sex and couple therapy. That's that's amazing. Tell us about your story.
Speaker 3
Thank you. I'm going to say even in undergraduate studies, you know, I was always interested in relationships and how people choose relationships and how they function in relationships and sex therapy, and, you know, that was something interesting to me. It was something also that, you know, it brought me aware that so many people suffer in silence when it comes to their sexual health in terms of, you know, they don't know how to ask for help. That's something we don't really talk about. People you know, there's so much shame and there's so much taboo about this subject that a lot of people don't know how to ask for help. So for me, it became kind of like something that I wanted to do to help people because I know that that's something that is so vulnerable for a lot of people. And to me, it was something that I thought was really important to do. So even, you know, in my undergrad degree, like, I wrote my thesis on, Facebook at the time and jealousy, romantic jealousy. And that was back in, like, two thousand and eight. So if you think, you know, Facebook started two thousand and six type thing, it was, like, pretty new at the time. And then I continued on, and that was always my goal was to become a psychologist who focuses on couples and sexual health.
Speaker 2
We're super keen to talk to you, because of what you just said about this being such a vulnerable, often not discussed topic. And many women in perimenopause, menopause Mhmm. Experience changes in libido. Right? And some have an increase, and, some struggle with low desire. And I'm just wondering what you encounter in your practice. I know what I think is probably more common based on my sample size of friends, but I'd love to hear what we'd love to hear what your what you see, in your practice.
Speaker 3
So certainly, like you said, I mean, there's a huge variation in terms of no two people are alike, no two peep no two women experience menopause in the same way, just as no two women experience pregnancy or any other, you know, life changing experience in the same way. Right? So, you know, in terms of what the research shows us, and certainly what comes up in my office, right, is the ones who are experiencing lower desire or significantly lower that it brings about distress. Right? Because from the most part, if you're experiencing a bit of a higher libido, unless it's super, super high, right, you're not gonna have distress about it. You're gonna be like, oh, that that's kinda cool. Like, maybe I can work with this. But when you're experiencing a lower libido, right, a significant decrease or maybe pain, that's when you're gonna have distress, right, or worry or stress about it in terms of saying, okay. Well, this is not my normal. Right? Or this doesn't feel good. Or this is suddenly impacting my relationship. Okay. So I'm gonna look for help for this. Right? So, typically, the ones who come to my office, right, are those experiencing lower libido, not higher. Right? So, typically, we don't really hear from the ones who are happy about having a higher libido.
Speaker 2
Makes sense.
Speaker 1
And I I don't suppose I've done the research on on this, like, outside of people coming into your office. Like, overall, has there been any research project
Speaker 2
on this?
Speaker 3
Oh, yeah. Oh, there there is for sure research going on. I mean, there's, you know, doctor Lori Brato, for example. She's, she does a lot of research on this. Her book. Yeah. She's fantastic. Emily Nagoski has touched on this, I'm pretty sure. Right. A lot of researchers, thankfully, finally. I think we're having a menopause moment in terms of more and more people are looking at the research. I can't speak to research because I'm not a researcher, but I can speak as a clinician in terms of what I do see
Speaker 1
in my office. So let's break it down. There's a few different things that affect our libido. Hormones are definitely one of them during the perimenopause menopause transition. There's also a huge mental aspect to libido. Can we dive a little deeper into, how let's start with hormones. How does hormones affect our libido and our desire?
Speaker 3
I mean, you know, everything impacts our sexual health, and I think that's something that's really important for people to understand is that, you know, our sexuality or our sexual health does not happen in a silo. Right? It happens with everything else going on. Everything can impact it, and your sexuality can impact everything else. Right? So for example, hormones, yes, your estrogen levels, you know, they're changing during menopause. Right? So that can bring about changes in terms of lubrication, in terms of muscle elasticity. Right? There's all kinds of changes that are happening as well as with testosterone. Those are impacting your sexual health. Right? Things like, you know, normal day to day stress. And if that stress gets worse because you're suddenly noticing a whole bunch of other symptoms that are coming up, right, during that period, perimenopause to menopause, your body's gonna react and so will your sexual health react in conjunction with that. Right? You might have, you know, stress in terms of other, maybe, things that are changing in your body in terms of as we age, we change, we get maybe not as healthy. There might be other health issues happening. Right? That also go hand in hand.
Speaker 1
And even for a lot of women, we speak about bodies, like, we there's this, you know, not for everyone, but for a lot of women, there's an unexpected weight gain that and then there's this change that they can't seem to get the weight off. And so, basically, our body image is changing as well. So that's gotta be a huge, player in this libido game too, I would think.
Speaker 3
A hundred percent. I mean, our body is constantly changing. Right? And as we age, our body changes with that, whether it's a weight increase or decrease. Right? But a change in terms of it's not the body that you had maybe five years ago, ten years ago. Right? And it's not the body you recognize in the mirror. Right? Or in your own perception of your space, right, in terms of elasticity, right, skin elasticity too, right, of just your overall skin, your face skin, your everything else. And, you know, there comes up a lot of things for women in terms of body issues. Right? In terms of there's talk of Botox, and there's talk of what kind of treatments are we gonna be getting. Right? And all of those things, again, impact our sense of self.
Speaker 2
Mhmm.
Speaker 3
They impact us emotionally or psychologically, if you will, in terms of having existential crisis crises or just questions that are coming up, right, of, ah, I'm nearing my midlife. Right? What does that mean for me? What does that mean for me and my partner? We might be facing transitions at home in terms of older kids who are now maybe leaving the nest, or they're going to college, or they're right? And that has a huge impact on myself, right? It also has a huge impact on me and my partner, and it has an impact in terms of our sexuality and in terms of, well, oh, hi. You're still here. Right? And and, you know, what does our relationship look like if we've been focused on the kids for the past twenty years?
Speaker 1
You know, you're bringing up all oh my god. Okay. We have to have a separate, like, therapy session after. That's because I'm about to be an empty nester, and it's part of it's really exciting. And and, you know, we were out to dinner last night talking about, like, what is it gonna look like? And and reconnecting with my husband on that level will be amazing and even just as a person. But there's a little part of me in the where my low libido comes in where I'm like, fuck. Does this mean he thinks I'm gonna we're gonna be having sex every night now? Like, that Sorry, Jason. That's fine. So I'm a little bit anxious about that.
Speaker 3
There's a little bit of anxiety there. Yeah. I mean, there for sure, there there is, like, the liberation piece. Oh, wow. We can, like, have, you know, zero plums about walking around naked right in my living room. But then there there is the opposite piece of, well, who am I at this point? Right? And who are you? And how do we connect without the kids? Right? How do we connect without, hey, weekends were reserved for hockey games or for cheerleading practice or for blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. And, oh, well, they're in college. They're not fitness anymore. What do we do on our weekends? Right? All those kinds of things that are coming up in, I would say, the midlife period. Right? And all those things have an impact on our sexual health. Right? Because one doesn't happen without the other.
Speaker 2
I think it would you say it's fair to say that it's a lot more complicated or more nuanced maybe than anybody really realizes. Right? Like, you I think I I would suspect when people come to your office, they're coming because they're having a challenge with low libido, as you said. And then when you start working with them and unpacking, is anybody ever not surprised, or is it, you know, like, oh my god. Right? I Hadn't even thought about all of these factors.
Speaker 3
I think, unfortunately, by the time they've come to my office, they've not had access to either any help before. Right? So they don't even know that help exists, right?
Speaker 2
Yeah.
Speaker 3
There might be a piece that is not helpful, right, in terms of losing hope of, well, nothing's gonna help you. Yeah. Right? Unfortunately, you know, we haven't spent enough time researching this, this. We're doing this kind of work to really say, okay, you know, let's tell the public what actually is going to help. Right? And so there's a lot of myths. There's a lot of, you know, oh, well, my doctor told me that hormone therapy is not good for me, so therefore, I should not even be doing this or attempting to do this when, by the way, the research has shown, yes, it is good for you. Right? And, you know, so things like that. And especially, you know, I do I do deal a lot with also cancer survivors, right, who might have been put into menopause overnight, right, without the natural progression of it, if you will. Right? And again, it's quite disheartening for them as well in terms of suddenly they woke up without those transition pieces of, okay, well, I'm getting a little bit more drier. I'm having a little less sleep. Right? No, it's suddenly all at once. And there isn't enough resources out there to show all women, right, what you actually can do to take control of your sexual health at this point in your life.
Speaker 2
So maybe we should, that's a good time to jump into. So, you know, beyond vaginal moisturizers and, lubricants that are formulated to actually help long term. Right? Because there are some products that are not formulated to be beneficial long term. Right? They might actually make the dryness more problematic as an example. But when when you have a patient that is, you know, perhaps beyond something over the counter, what what are what are the options you discussed and what are what are those solutions?
Speaker 3
Yeah. There is a lot of different options. It's important to remember that one size does not fit all. Right? And that because there's so many options, it does take time and effort and a little bit of energy to go through your options. Right? In terms of trying, okay, so, you know, for example, Iris has a vaginal moisturizer. Right? Okay. So let me try that. If that doesn't work, there's a few others on the market too. Right? It's not to despair and say, okay, well, all vaginal moisturizer never gonna work for me. And I think it's about having that flexibility of saying, okay. I'm going to try something. Let's see if it works. And if it doesn't, I'm gonna try something else until I do find maybe a few things and have a few tools in my backpack, if you will, of things that I can do to work. Right? So in terms of what is available. Right? You know, first of all, psychologists. Right? So what do we do? We talk about mental health. Right? We talk about mental health in relation to your sexual health.
Speaker 1
I am so curious about this because I've never been to a sex therapist before, and I'm always super curious. So please, yes. What happens?
Speaker 3
Yeah. That's so, you know, we talk about the the biopsychosocial factors of sexual health. Right? So really trying to assess what is happening. Right? So talking about biological factors. So, yes, we're gonna talk about perimenopause, menopause. What are your symptoms? Right? Maybe it's sleep deprivation. Maybe it's hot flashes and that makes you super uncomfortable. Maybe it's the weight gain, weight loss, understanding, okay, what's going on in terms of talking about your body image? Right? All those kind of factors biologically, I wanna know if you've been to a doctor or GP to have had an assessment done in terms of maybe it's a thyroid panel to assess your thyroid thyroid hormonal levels. Right? We're gonna do really A to Z of saying, okay, biologically, what is happening? Right? We're gonna talk about psychologically. Maybe there was a history of anxiety, history of depression, any kind of psychological factors that might be coming up for you that has an impact on your sexual health. Right? Again, all these things are working all at the same time. Right? We're also gonna be talking about social factors. So exactly as we were just saying in terms of the empty nesters, we're gonna talk about, well, what about children? Do you have kids? How did that affect you when you went through pregnancy? Which, by the way, might have been fifteen or twenty years ago, but that might still have an effect on where you are today. Right? And how you experienced if you had a birth trauma, if you had anything happening, if you had gestational diabetes, how did that affect your body then? Because that kinda gives us a little bit more understanding of where your body is at now. Right? How did your body handle those stressors before? How is it handling it now? How has it changed before to led to where you are today? Right? Fascinating. Yes. Thank you. But all that kind of work, and then we're gonna talk about your relationship. Right? What does your couple relationship look like? What does it look like in terms of your sexual script? Right? Talking about, well, who initiates? Who how do we do it? What are you doing? Right? In terms of what is quote unquote sex? People usually say, well, sex is only penetration. And I go, oh, wow. Okay. So let's talk about how do we expand your repertoire. Right? How do we how do we see pleasure? Right? As in, what do we interpret as pleasure? How do we define pleasure? What is pleasure? How is sexual pleasure different from regular pleasure of, you know, maybe eating a really good chocolate cake or going to the park or having fun with your kids? Those are all pleasure. Right. Right? How do we interpret it? And how do we interpret it in the bedroom as well? As in how do we define an orgasm? What does that mean to you? What does it mean if you don't have an orgasm? Right? We talk about good enough sex. Right? In terms of saying, well, what feels good and what feels good enough and how many times? And, you know, if we're just cuddling, can that be good enough? If we're cuddling without our clothes, does it have to be penetrative sex? Can oral be just as good? Right? We talk about all these kinds of things. Right? And just in the assessment, in terms of I just need to understand. And then in terms of, well, how do we help? Right? So by taking all this assessment information, then we're gonna say, okay. Well, how do we help you relate better to your partner? For example, how do we change the script? How do we expand the sexual repertoire? How do we make sure that if there is a mismatch in libido, how are we handling it? How are we making both of you feel comfortable and heard and respected, right, in this time in terms of making sure both of you are getting your needs met, both of your needs are valid, Right? Sexual needs are very valid from both partners. But it's the mismatch that's the problem. Okay. Well, how do we fix that in terms of how do we navigate it together? So both of you get some of your needs met in the couple and maybe sometimes on your own, maybe through different ways. Again, expending that sexual repertoire, expending well, how do we spend more time together? Because often, you know, maybe the lack of sexual intimacy is come is stemming from a lack of emotional intimacy or lack of physical intimacy. Right? So we talk about all these things, and we learn, okay. Well, what works specifically for you? And, you know, especially for me and for my clinic, it is really unique to the person. It is not one size fits all. That's why it does take time and it does take commitment to therapy and an investment in yourself and in your relationship. But we really tailor the therapy to you. Right? And, you know, personally, I would never recommend something off the bat without knowing you because that's not fair to you.
Speaker 1
You should try bondage. She did that's not your that's not your go to. No.
Speaker 2
No. You're funny.
Speaker 1
No. Can I ask you a dumb question? Is is sex therapy, is it always with two people? No.
Speaker 3
Yeah. So, I mean, with me, sex therapy could be individual therapy. It could be couples therapy in terms of so one person in the room or two people in the room. Other people might have triads in their room. Right.
Speaker 0
I was gonna say the triples.
Speaker 3
Yeah. They they might. Yeah. You know, I think that's also something that is important for everyone to know is that every therapist does something a little bit differently. Right? As in, yes, we all follow, you know, evidence based therapy and and make sure that it's kosher, if you will. But I think the secret sauce to therapy is finding a good fit with your therapist. Right? Making sure that you match, that your goals are aligned, that you can work together, right, to make sure that, you know, your values line up, that everything works well. Because, again, that's, you know, the basis of your therapy will be between you and your therapist.
Speaker 2
Yeah. You need to be you need to find someone you can be vulnerable with.
Speaker 3
A hundred percent. And I think, you know, the onus is on us to set the stage to make sure that it's a safe space. Right, where you feel welcome, where you feel that you can be vulnerable, and you can show up, right, to do the work.
Speaker 2
On that, Doctor. Ariel, I wonder how often, you mentioned, Emily Nagoski's work. Mhmm. And I wonder how often how women in particular are socialized in the context of sex, and not just within their family of origin, but just by society as a whole. Right?
Speaker 3
Mhmm.
Speaker 2
And how often does that come up with your patients?
Speaker 3
All the time.
Speaker 2
Yeah.
Speaker 3
All the time. And, you know, that's a hundred percent part of the assessment too, is we talk about your education on sex. Right? And I don't know, mean, in terms of how were you raised? How was your culture impacted you? How has your ethnicity impact you? How does your religion impact you? How does your family, your friends, your peer group, right? Media. Right? The influence of porn or the influence of, oh, well, you gotta be skinny. Right? All these kinds of things are taboo on masturbation for women. Right? Which is awful. Right? So a hundred percent, you know, it impacts, I believe, everybody, differently. Right? And we might not even be aware of how it's impacted us too. Right? Because we might be like, oh, okay. Well, this is quote unquote normal. This is the norm. And it might be, but it might not be. Right? In terms of maybe that's the norm that you grew up with and that you thought had to be, you know, that felt pressured on you, when in reality, maybe it looks different.
Speaker 2
Well, and just because something is the norm or normal doesn't mean that it's okay.
Speaker 3
No. A hundred percent. That it's A hundred percent. Pursue something
Speaker 2
or be in something or yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's a pretty powerful, discussion.
Speaker 3
And it's a discussion I have with almost all my clients. Right? Not just for women, but for men
Speaker 1
too. Absolutely.
Speaker 3
And so that's definitely something that I do both in individual and in couples therapy of unpacking. Okay. Well, what have you actually learned about sexuality, about your own sexuality, about your partner's sexuality? And just in general, what are the sexual myths that you think are at play here, right, which have raised your your distress probably?
Speaker 2
Yeah. What, can you, can you, like, what are some of the most common myths that you, debunk in your practice?
Speaker 3
Yeah. I mean, I think my favorite myth is that men are able and ready to have sex at any time. No. Not true. They are not. But, you know, why I say it's my favorite is because when we unpack that, there's so much that comes out of it. Right? And, you know, talking about aging, for example, right, the flip side for the men is maybe a lack of erection, right, or lower erections or not as hard as they used to be. They don't look the same as they used to be. They're not under our control like they used to be their control, sorry, as they used to be. Right? And for us women, sometimes we're sitting here with that myth in our head that, oh, well, men are supposed to be able and willing at any time. Right? And so why is he not? Oh, it's because he's not attracted to me anymore. Right? And then that goes into that body image, shame, I'm not enough. I'm right? All of that. It it just opens all of that up. It opens him up to all kinds of, you know, feelings of I'm not enough. I'm not capable. There's anxiety, there's anxiety for the couple. So when I say that's my favorite one, that that's something that I talk about often, right, and try to unpack with both my couples and in individual therapy too, to try and give as much psychoeducation as I possibly can, you know, just to understand what's going on and decrease the the stress and the distress.
Speaker 2
It's a wonder anybody's having sex. Like, I'm being slippery, but like but seriously, like all of these layers and what you just said, oh my god, of course, that's gonna happen in that everybody's wounded. Everybody feels not enough and less than, and nobody's talking about it, and they go away. And then, oh my god. Mhmm. Yeah. That's crazy.
Speaker 3
Yeah. I wanna go back for a minute just to your original question of, okay. Well, what are the things that we can do in terms of sexual health? Right? Yes, please. And I think the most important piece here is that it's all about, you know, multidisciplinary collaborative care. And I think that's an important piece for people to remember, both as clinicians and as the public, right, is that it's multifaceted, right? Sexual health is not just physical, though it is physical, Right? It's not just mental, though it is mental. It's not just emotional, though it is emotional. It's not just about what you're feeding your body, though it is about what you're nourishing your body with. Right? It's all these kind of pieces. There's the medical piece, there's the other pieces that go along with it. And so, you know, in terms of actually what I'm doing right now in terms of the new clinic is having a space where it is multidisciplinary care and collaborative care in terms of us seeing the client as a whole, not just, okay, well, I have this little piece of the puzzle and you have this little piece of the puzzle. No. We're trying to build the puzzle altogether so we all see it and understand it, and we can all assess and deal with it accordingly. Amazing. And so, you know, those pieces of the puzzle is, yes, your medical team. Right, in terms of maybe it's a gynaecologist, maybe it's a nurse practitioner, maybe it's a psychiatrist if needed, right, there's also the other pieces.
Speaker 1
Public floor therapist.
Speaker 3
Yes, that was where I was going with next, my physical piece. I mean, that's honestly one of my favorites in terms of where I recommend the most is, pelvic floor physiotherapy. Right? In terms of it often goes really amazingly hand in hand with psychology in terms of I do the talking, she does the physical piece.
Speaker 2
All of the points you bring up in the the the the the layers in terms of the psychology of all of this, so so important. And if your vulva's on fire and your vagina feels like sandpaper, doesn't matter how skilled doctor Ariel is, probably not gonna happen. So maybe maybe we could also talk a little bit you mentioned earlier that that hormone therapy is safe, and I assume you were talking about vaginal.
Speaker 3
You're you're leading me right there.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Yes. So let's talk about that because of that is oh my god. That's probably another big myth that Yeah. You see. And it's an incredible tool in the toolbox. Well, just when it comes to quality of life, but particularly for your sex life. Right?
Speaker 3
A hundred percent. So what I will say is that's not the hat that I wear in terms of how to prescribe HRT or know too much about it. However, that being said, we do have naturopathic doctors, for example, on our team who are able to prescribe estrogen. Right? And estrogen these days can be done topically. Right? Which means that for my understanding for breast cancer, that means it's safe. Right, when it's vaginal topical estrogen. But that is something that can be prescribed by a naturopathic doctor, and they can be looking at all your hormones and understanding better than I can for sure in terms of what to do about those physical pieces. Right? A gynecologist, I believe, can also do that as well, as well as a nurse practitioner.
Speaker 1
Yep.
Speaker 3
Right? So those three would be your best bet in terms of, I'll call it, the medical side of things. Right? In terms of actual work with your pelvic floor or with your vagina, that would be the pelvic floor physiotherapist. Right? In terms of she would be helping along with them in terms of saying, okay, what kind of moisturizer would be the best? What kind of lubricant should you be using? Right? But also in terms of training your muscles, right, down there of how to work that and how to help you. It can be helpful for prolapse. It could be helpful for a whole range, but especially for sexual pain. Right? So that would be my number one recommendation in terms of that. There's also the piece of nourishing yourself, right, of food. Right? And how does food affect us? And when I say food, I do not mean a diet. Right? It's not about the weight and it's not about that, but it's really about, well, how do I nourish my body in the best way to respond to those hormones? Right? So, for example, you know, I have PCOS, which is something I've always been very open about, And it's been a lifelong struggle, really. It's a constant up and down, and it's a constant managing, and it's really difficult. It has led to gestational diabetes for me, and, you know, that's always something that's on my radar. And a dietitian would be the best to be helpful in that, and as well with the perimenopause, right, or menopause in terms of again, it's all related to your hormones, and, okay, well, how do we feed our body in the best way to target those hormones? Right? And again, this is not my area of expertise. But I am just saying in terms of, you know, rounding out the team, that was something that was really important to me.
Speaker 1
You've been teasing our listeners a lot with the team, and you've you've alluded to having a a clinic, and it's a one shop stop, one stop shop, something like that. Tell us, tell us a little bit more about the clinic, please. Specifically, what's it called? Where do we find it? Tell us everything.
Speaker 3
Yeah. I would love to. So this is something that, you know, I've had a vision for for a long time, and kinda surprised myself to be bringing it about right now. But, yeah, it's called Anna and Solomon, sex and couples health. It's actually named for my grandparents
Speaker 1
Oh, I
Speaker 3
love that. Who had the most beautiful and loving relationship. And they were holocaust survivors, and they went through a lot. Right? And yet they still were always able to talk to each other with respect. They had conflict. They never shied away from conflict. But they were able to build a beautiful, loving relationship that always made me feel so safe and secure around them. And so for me, my vision was, okay, I want couples to see that, visualize that, and become that, right, in terms of learn how to work on your couple and make sure that, you know, we're reconnecting you with your love story, your own love story. Right? And making sure that you can be the best that you can be, and learn how to be strong, and learn how to be respectful, how to have conflict, but how to resolve conflict in a really good way, and everything else that goes with couples, right, in terms of sexual health and well-being. So that is the vision of the clinic. And my vision, like I said, was the multi multidisciplinary collaboration. I think, to me, that was the most important part of having a one stop shop, as you said, in terms of a place where clients know that they can trust, that they can feel secure in, that they know that we are, you know, skilled, experienced team. Right? And we really do act as a team. And we, you know, we have monthly meetings, and we discuss together. And I've you know, I'm so impressed with the team that has chosen to make their home Anna and Solomon.
Speaker 1
But but that is such a that is such a big part of this is, you know, we need ease in our lives and having it looked they have a lot of women's health clinics are popping up now, which is amazing, but I don't I don't think I've ever heard of a sexual health clinic. And I just think it's amazing to have everyone there. Everyone you know, I don't have to repeat my story ten times. Like, you're I'm gonna talk to you, and you're gonna point me in the direction of the other people I might need to speak with. And it just it just makes it easy and simple. And, I feel like I have I would have more confidence, in anything that you would tell me or advise me to do knowing that you're you're working together with a group of people that care about me. I think it's great. I love it.
Speaker 2
Yeah. It's fantastic. Thank you.
Speaker 3
Thank you. Yeah. And I think that's really the goal is just to make ourselves known, right, in terms of making sure that everyone knows there is a resource. And like you said, you know, there are women's health, which is phenomenal, but I think the missing piece is bringing the couple together, right, and having a place where both men and women, as well as LGBTQ plus have a safe space for them. Right? Where they can connect. We're not dividing the genders or dividing anybody. Right? We're saying that there's care equal care for everybody, and I think that's so important.
Speaker 1
Absolutely. Is is the clinic open?
Speaker 3
It is. Oh, congratulations. Yeah. We are open and ready for business. So, we offer virtual for all of our services, across Quebec and Ontario for sure, and some other provinces too, depending on regulations, as well as we have, in person services available. So our main clinic will be opening midtown Toronto, and that will be in about June, mid June.
Speaker 1
Okay.
Speaker 3
But as well, some of our clinicians have their own offices. So, for example, we have one in Burlington. We have one in, Mirabelle, Quebec, Richmond Hill. Right? A few of our clinicians have allowed us to use their space as well, and that's amazing so that it's more accessible for clients.
Speaker 2
Fantastic. And we'll include links to you in the, in the show notes.
Speaker 3
Yeah. And also just to make note that we offer different languages as well. So we currently offer everything in English and French for sure. We also have Farsi, and we have Hebrew as well.
Speaker 1
Wow. Amazing. That's fantastic. Yeah.
Speaker 2
This has been so wonderful, doctor Ariel. Before we let you go, what is the one thing you want every woman, to know about sex?
Speaker 3
Wow. That's a huge question. I think let's make it pleasure focused, and let's give ourselves the permission to feel pleasure. Right? And pleasure is not a luxury. Right? We need to we need to get that message loud and clear, and that there's different ways to experience pleasure. It might be sexual. It might not be sexual. Right? But any pleasure is really good on your overall health, mental health, physical health, every health that you can imagine. I think that's the most important thing.
Speaker 2
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1
An amazing answer. I love it. Thank you. Wow. I'm, like, kinda speechless. Thank you. Thank you so much for being so honest and real with us, and, you've answered so many questions about some taboo topics. I was so excited about this conversation, but there's also a little part of me that was like, I don't know if I can talk about that. But it was very easy. You made it very comfortable and very, very informative. So thank you, and congratulations again on Anna and Solomon. That's so special, and, we can't wait. I know probably all of our listeners are googling getting a place on your wait list now, hopefully, right in.
Speaker 3
Yeah. They can book a free consult online with any of the clinicians that they see that, you know, they wanna connect with. And if they don't know because there's a lot of selection, and I get that, just email us. So at info at anna salaman dot com, and we'll be help able to help you and direct you.
Speaker 1
Thank you. Yeah. I just as you said it, I was like, oh, how do I know where to start? So that that's how you start. Thank you. Amazing. Yes. Thanks so much for listening to the show. If you like what you hear, please take a moment to rate and subscribe to our podcast. When you do this, it helps to raise our podcast profile so more women can find us and get a little better understanding of what to expect in perimenopause.
Speaker 2
We also read all the reviews, the good, the bad, and the ugly to help us continuously improve our show. We would love to hear from you. You can connect with us through the podcast, on social media, or through our website. Our information as well as links and details from our conversation today can be found in the show notes. This podcast is for general information only. It's designed to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey through perimenopause. The information and opinions on this podcast are not intended to be a substitution for primary care, diagnosis, or treatment. The information on this podcast does not replace professional health care advice. The use of the information discussed is at the sole discretion of the listener. If you are suffering from symptoms or have questions, please consult a qualified health care practitioner.
