Episode Transcript
Speaker 0
Michelle, before this episode, if I had asked you what time you start thinking about sleep, what would you have said?
Speaker 1
Well, it's me and I go to bed, like, way too early. So I'd say, like, seven or eight. I you know, that's when I start putting on my blue blocking glasses. While I'm watching TV. I wind down. I dim all the lights. I, like, put my phone down. I'm doing all the things. Yeah. Right?
Speaker 0
And you? And I think that's where a lot of people are pretty focused on. Right? Yeah. Especially if they're having trouble switching. I don't think about it quite as early as you do, and I don't start any
Speaker 1
of those things.
Speaker 2
I go to bed all day.
Speaker 1
I don't wanna do that.
Speaker 0
Yeah. But, you know, that's where we thought the magic happened.
Speaker 1
Yeah. I I really did think it was all about my sleep environment and routine, and I, you know, I probably even got a little obsessive about it. But
Speaker 0
Well, it can actually it can quickly veer into becoming more of a hindrance than help if you're Yeah. Yeah. In in our conversation today with sleep and stress stress coach, Alana McGinn, she makes the case that a great night's sleep is actually built during the day, starting the moment your alarm goes off in the morning.
Speaker 1
Even before you're getting out of bed. It's crazy.
Speaker 0
And once well, when she explained it, I couldn't unhear that. You know, what we do during the day impacts our sleep and, you know, really impacts whether we're staring at the ceiling at three AM, and it makes a lot
Speaker 1
of sense. Yeah. And but there were so many unexpected and yet so, like, really practical tips in this episode. And, you know, for perimenopause women who aren't sleeping, but for any woman, any person who's not sleeping. And we're talking about morning routines and using joy and boundary as sleep tools. Like, what? And then, of course, my personal favorite that Alana talks about is stress the fuck out on purpose. Yes.
Speaker 0
Yeah. I think that's my favorite method
Speaker 1
So good.
Speaker 0
Of Alana's. I also really like her twenty twenty twenty method, and that's something that doctor Jen Zelovitzky introduced us to when we talked with her for our first episode of the Indie Reclaim Your Rest series. And, I've been putting trying to put that into practice, and it works. Yeah? Okay.
Speaker 1
Well, all the and now everyone's interest is in peak, so everyone's gonna have to listen to find out what the twenty twenty rule is. Twenty twenty twenty rule is. You know, this episode with Alana is also part of our sleep series. And if you have not listened to the other episodes, really do yourself a favor and go back. We've talked about why sleep is getting disrupted, the connection between sleep and weight loss, CBTI for insomnia, and so so much more. So take a listen. It's really good.
Speaker 0
Yeah. We've, I think we're building something pretty special here with, Andy as a partner. And every episode has an important piece of the puzzle. And, this is Alana's piece, and it's a good one.
Speaker 1
Yeah. And so if you're laying awake at three AM because this is perimenopause, this episode is for you. So let's not waste more time. Let's just get into it. This episode is brought to you by Endy, Canada's leading online mattress trusted by over one million happy sleepers. Less night sweats, less tossing, less waking through the night, something we all dream of. And these mattresses are designed to quietly handle the physical side of that battle, with cooling gel foam to help release the heat, motion isolation so that every little shift doesn't wake you, and pressure point relief so your body can let go of tension. Plus, they have three comfort options to choose from and delivery straight to your door. Endy really makes it easy to create a sleep setup that truly feels like home. And, guys, right now, during Endy's Canada Day sale, they have some of the best offers of the year, including free gifts with your mattress purchase, exclusive discounts, and other limited time offers. Upgrade your sleep today at Endy dot com. That's e n d y dot com.
Speaker 0
Elena McGinn, welcome.
Speaker 2
Thanks for having me. I'm excited.
Speaker 0
We're excited too. So excited. We are both a little obsessed a lot obsessed with sleep and, have been working on it for quite a while now. But as you know, partnered with Endy to create the Reclaim Your Rest series. And, you certainly became one of our sleep experts that we wanted to have on the show. So before we dive in, maybe you could tell us a little bit about how you became Alana McGinn, the sleep expert.
Speaker 2
Well, that journey started over eighteen years ago. What? And it started small. It started when I first had my daughter, who is now eighteen, which is crazy, just finishing her first year of university. And, you know, until you bring a baby home, you don't really understand that you're just not gonna be sleeping.
Speaker 0
People try to warn you, and you're like, hey. They try
Speaker 2
to warn you. Yeah.
Speaker 0
You don't know until you're in it. You don't know.
Speaker 2
Exactly that you're actually on someone else's schedule and no longer on your own. So just slowly kinda started in the sleep training world. Right? Started that way. Three and a half years later, I had my second and third, my twins. And that's
Speaker 0
when I
Speaker 2
started getting yeah. Yeah. It's funny because Sophie, my eldest, was a pretty easy sleeper, and I thought my next one is gonna be my karma. And then they're like, you're having twins. I was
Speaker 1
like, crap.
Speaker 0
You knew it. You My bad. Dose of karma.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Exactly. And then I remember I hit publish on my website when they were ten months old. They were both in their bouncy seats just kinda looking at me and, fully grew the business. We have consultants throughout Canada and the US, and then the alana mcginn dot com kind of formed as I was entering tweens and teens and midlife myself and realized there needs to be more focus on midlife, the midlife space and sleep. And, yes, menopause and perimenopause, of course, go hand in hand with sleep loss. But there's also a lot of life transitions that happen for women in this space. You know, myself concluded going through one a few years ago. That's where my focus has been lately. It's just working in the midlife space with women and helping them stress less and sleep better, and it's been great.
Speaker 1
Well and thank you for that. On behalf of all midlife women around the globe, we appreciate it. So I think one of the one of the most fascinating things that I've heard you talk about, Alana, is that when we think about sleep hygiene, most of us think about what we're doing before we go to bed, that hour, hour and a half before bedtime, or eating our meals three hours before, all of those good things that we can do to prepare for sleep. But you've said that what we do first thing in the morning actually can have a huge impact on our sleep that night. Can you tell us more about this, please?
Speaker 2
That's a conversation that I'm having more and more with my clients and more and more in my communities. As you said, sleep hygiene is such an important component of sleeping better. Great sleep environment, great bedtime routine, and I'm sure we'll talk about all those things because they do play a role for sure. But so much of what we do throughout the day and what we do the moment we make wake up is really going to allow us to have either a great night's sleep or not so great night's sleep. So if we start in the morning, in my opinion, your morning routine is just as important, if not more important than your bedtime routine.
Speaker 1
And what
Speaker 2
I mean by that is that's how you're gonna start your day, and how you start your day is how your day continues. And what how you start your day is what you take into the daytime and then into your bedtime as well. So a lot of us, we're using our phones as our alarm clock. That's fine. I will say stores still sell alarm clock. But if you are using your phone as your alarm clock and you can set those boundaries on really setting the alarm and putting your phone down, turning off the alarm and putting your phone down. I'm okay with it. But then we need to set those boundaries. And what happens is is our alarm goes off in the morning. We pick up our phone. We turn it off. And what do we do? Instantly, we're checking our emails. We're checking social media. We're checking in news headlines, and no news headlines are good lately or for a long time. And we're we're you know, our brain just explodes. Right? We're allowing that chaos to come into our mind, and our feet haven't even hit the floor yet. We haven't even gotten out of bed yet. And now we're carrying that into our morning. We're carrying that into our daytime and then in turn into our bedtime. So, you know, rule of thumb, give yourself those thirty minutes. If you feel like it's gonna be really hard for you to turn off the alarm and put your phone down, get an alarm clock, put your phone elsewhere in your in your bedroom or outside of your bedroom In
Speaker 1
the kitchen.
Speaker 2
So that it's not in the kitchen. Exactly. Or get a docking station somewhere else in the house where you can keep it all organized and charged, and give yourself thirty minutes in the morning for you. And that can look like whatever you want it to look like. So it could be just time with your kids getting them ready for school. It could be time with your partner as you guys go off to work. It can be walking your dog, having a quiet cup of coffee, doing a morning workout, just thirty minutes before you check-in because the second you pick this up, you're picking up everything else that's going on in the world. Right? Whether it be in your life or outside of your life. So thirty minutes is important. Also, we wanna work on building a really strong drive for sleep. So think of your sleep drive as your gas tank. When we wake up in the morning, our gas tank is likely on empty. Our sleep tank is on empty, whether we've had a good night's sleep or not. So we wanna work on in the morning and throughout the day, filling that tank full of what I call sleep gas. Right? Ways to do that, keeping consistent morning routines, getting up consistently eighty percent of the time, getting in that physical activity, that's gonna put loads of gas in that sleep tank, immersing yourself in that natural light. Luckily, we're going into a season where we're gonna see more sunlight in the morning, which is gonna
Speaker 1
help us. The f. Like, seriously, this has been a long winter. Yeah. Sorry.
Speaker 2
I didn't know. Long winter, and it's still cold where we are, and I'm just I'm ready for a sleep bar. So your morning routine, again, really plays a role in how easily you can fall asleep at night and stay asleep throughout the night for sure. So there needs to be more focus on that as well.
Speaker 1
Is there something to the whole walk in the morning as soon as the light starts to come up and look into the sunlight because that that light is impacting your melatonin levels later? What is that little theory?
Speaker 2
That's right. So we all run off of a natural twenty four hour clock. That clock doesn't shift when we go through time changes or when we go through different time zones. Right? Think of it like when the sun is is is at noon, that helps sync our clock. So when we're able to go out in the morning and immerse ourselves in that natural light, it helps to resync our natural clock if we heat. It helps to lower our melatonin naturally. It helps to release cortisol. Cortisol is not always bad. We do need a certain amount of cortisol in our body, our stress hormone. And then it allows our bod our body clock to function properly throughout the day so that in the evening time, the melatonin is going to release as it should, provided we're setting up that environment. That's where sleep environment comes in. So at night, we wanna focus on dimming the light, darken the environment to release that melatonin.
Speaker 0
Well, I got up this morning and looked out into a snowstorm because I live in Calgary
Speaker 2
and, you
Speaker 0
know, tomorrow it'll probably be fifteen degrees, but today Yeah.
Speaker 2
Blizzard. Same with us. Not a snowstorm, but it was cold. We're in July.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Same with us.
Speaker 0
Well, good. I feel not so alone then. Yeah. Misery loves company.
Speaker 1
Lana, when
Speaker 0
you and I first met, you talked about the idea of incorporating more joy, learning to actually set and hold a boundary, which is the second part is usually what I struggle with, and learning to let go as sleep tools, which is not something I had considered before. Could you unpack that for us and maybe share with us how the emotional load emotional load we carry during the day shows up in our sleep at night or lack of sleep at night?
Speaker 2
Absolutely. So this is where what we do at three PM is gonna help us sleep better at three AM. The constant complaints that I'm sure you guys hear at your age, perhaps that you guys go through yourself and that I hear amongst my community and clients is that three AM wake up. And there's different reasons why we tend to wake up more at three AM. A big reason why we tend to do that is is because at three AM, we're cycling into lighter states of sleep. And what is playing in our mind, what we haven't unpacked throughout the day and worked through throughout the day, perhaps not entirely, but if at all, is going to plague our minds at three AM. This is where we need to focus on allowing ourselves, even if we are going through a tough time in life. I bring it back to when I say I went through a midlife transition. I went through a divorce four years ago. And when you're going through something, and I call it my messy middle. My messy middle was a divorce. Everyone has their own messy middle. When you're going through something really difficult, whether it be divorce, whether it be anything, it's hard for you to feel like it's okay to incorporate joy. And I think that the conversation also and you might have already had this conversation on your podcast with other guests, but there is a difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is is an emotion. It's something that we feel, but we can't necessarily feel sad and happy at the same time. Whereas joy is a choice. Joy is something that we can feel even when we're going through a hard time. We don't have to wait till we get through the divorce in order to feel joy. And why joy? People might be thinking, well, what does that have to do with sleep? What does that have to do with stress? Why do I need to incorporate more joy into my life? Well, when we incorporate more joy in into our life, when we're going through a difficult time that perhaps is is making it difficult for us to sleep, that perhaps is elevating our stress levels, we're allowing our body in that moment of joy to release its pressure, to reduce that stress. So that when we feel that stress again, perhaps we're a little bit more resilient to that stress. And it gives us that break that we sometimes need when we're going through a really hard time. And in turn, that break can then help us sleep better. Joy could be many different things. It could be going for a walk. It could be having more connection in your community, taking an art class, baking, cooking, running a marathon. Like, whatever your joy is, little steps of that try to incorporate into your world. Setting boundaries and letting things go is, in my opinion, a very similar thing as something I really had to work on when I was a little bit bored.
Speaker 1
It's hard.
Speaker 2
Right? Yeah. Some the same thing that, you know, a lot of women, I think, those are all the tabs that are open in our brain. Let's be honest. It's not just our to do list, but it's our replay. I should have said this. What whether it's about a situation, a person, an event, what if I had done this? What would have been the outcome? What if I had said this? What if I responded this way?
Speaker 0
We need
Speaker 2
to let that go because those constant replaying in our brain is going to hit us at three AM when we do wake up for whatever reason that we're waking up at three AM. And that's work. That takes time. That's learning if you're a yes person. It's learning that it's okay to say no. If there isn't a person or situation that triggers you and perhaps doesn't allow you to let go, it's really setting boundaries on how you communicate with that person, how you show up at those events in those situations. That's a whole, I mean, that's a whole program that I
Speaker 1
hope you do. Podcast.
Speaker 0
Yeah. Do you podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Can I I'm not getting divorced, but can I sign up for the because you have a you have a divorce coaching program?
Speaker 2
Right? Well, that's an Or divorce They're very similar because, again, my messy middle is my divorce. I do have a divorce coaching program that focuses on sleep and stress, and then I have a midlife sleep program. For for my happy midlife women that are happily married that still needs to sleep better.
Speaker 1
That's still the best.
Speaker 2
Again, like, when I say my messy middle was my divorce and learning to let stuff go was, yeah, about my ex and about situations. For somebody, it could be a coworker. It could be a family member. It could be a friend. It doesn't necessarily have to be divorce. There's a lot of boundaries I feel like we need to set at this age. I'm in that space.
Speaker 0
Yes. Because we were it's been socialized into us to not have any.
Speaker 2
Right? Of course. We have to be everything and and and anything to everyone.
Speaker 1
Everyone. Yeah. Yeah. And
Speaker 0
we all need work. And it's I I would say I'm getting better at it, but I'm I feel like I'm nowhere near where I would like to be. And it's I don't know. Feel like some coaching would be good. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Well and also the flip side of it, making that boundary, I'm getting so much better at that, but then being okay with people not liking the boundary that I've set is the other side of that conversation. The hard part. That's really the tricky bit.
Speaker 0
Oh, I can set boundaries all day long.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2
That's That is the hard part. And I feel like, you know, obviously, it's what I coach and what I do. So I feel like I've gotten a lot better. For me, it was almost like a switch. I recently just turned forty nine. You know, I'm staring fifty right at the nose. And for me, it was like a switch where I was ready just to not just let it go and set those boundaries, but also when I say letting it go, I don't wanna misinterpret that to the let them theory. I know people follow it and love it, and there is a part of that that I can adopt and and like. But for me, it wasn't like, uh-uh. I'm not letting anyone do any of that stuff more. Like, it's it's almost like the standing up for for me thing and the setting boundaries, I think, was really important and and what I coach my clients to do. But then you're right. The we also have to then accept the reaction and response to setting those boundaries and letting things go, and that's not always easy to do.
Speaker 1
I think that's the heart yeah. That's the hardest part. And and knowing that both things can be true, this boundary could be comfortable for me, and Mikelle may be very unhappy with me setting this boundary. And I don't know what the boundary I would ever have with you, Mikelle, is, but let's pretend.
Speaker 0
Yeah. Let's pretend. Let's pretend.
Speaker 1
There aren't boundaries.
Speaker 0
Yeah. Exactly. Maybe that's part of our problem.
Speaker 1
Probably. Yes. Very much so. The way I've been first introduced to you was through Gina Libby and the Libby method.
Speaker 0
You have
Speaker 2
the commune Libby community.
Speaker 1
Me too. Me too. Hello. And we've got a lot of ladies
Speaker 2
part of the day. Losers.
Speaker 1
Hello. Shout out. But one of the things you talk about with Gina a lot is taking time on purpose to stress during the day, and I think you call it stress the fire.
Speaker 2
Oh, that's something I'm like,
Speaker 1
oh, please do. Yeah. I know a lot when
Speaker 2
I say it.
Speaker 1
I've got a way.
Speaker 0
So, sir, what is it?
Speaker 2
You need to allow yourself time throughout the day to stress the fuck out.
Speaker 1
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Speaker 0
Go to this is perimenopause dot com to subscribe and join the thousands of women who have realized they need and deserve better. So So sorry. What is it?
Speaker 2
You need to allow yourself time throughout the day to stress the fuck out. Yeah. That's what I always say.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Tell us more.
Speaker 2
This goes back to the three PM versus three AM. Do you wanna stress out at three AM, or do you wanna stress out at three PM? Because we're human. We're gonna stress out. I'm not here to tell you don't have any worries, don't have any concerns, don't have anxiety doesn't exist. Absolutely, it does, especially in the midlife space for a multitude of reasons. And what happens during the day is we are so easily distracted. We have work. We have family. We have life issues. We have social media, and and we can just push all our worries and concerns down, down, down, down and mask everything around us to help us, you know, get through the day. But then when we go to bed and we wake whether it's at bedtime or we're waking up at two o'clock, three o'clock, four o'clock in the morning, those distractions are gone, and what's gonna flood your mind? All the to do list and the worries and the concerns that you have. So this is where it it's called the personal pause. It's actually a a it's called constructive worry. It's a thing.
Speaker 1
It's a thing. Okay.
Speaker 2
It's a thing, where you worry constructively. When I say you have to allow yourself to stress the fuck out through throughout the day, I don't want you, like, in a ball in the corner stressing out. But we have to work through the issues and problems that we have in life, and you're gonna have sometimes bigger issues than others. It's just five minutes a day. I'm very much pen to paper. I don't know about you guys, but there's something about writing it out in a notebook or writing it out on a piece of paper that really allows my brain to have that dump versus notes or emails or anything like that. So get a piece of paper, write down a line in the middle. On one side, it's the problem. What is that problem that you know if you wake up at three AM, it's going to flood your brain and not allow you to fall back asleep? And then start writing out some solutions. It you have to solve the problem on that day in that moment, but it could be you have to source something or talk to someone or make an appointment or find out more information. Anything that's gonna give you that one step closer to solving that problem or reducing the worry around that problem. Put that piece of paper away. It's gone for that day. You don't have to revisit it. And then when you do wake up at three AM or you do have that problem pop in your brain at bedtime because listen. Like I said, you're human. It's still going to happen. This is where you start. It's all about shifting the mindset, and this is where you start saying to yourself, I know that problem's there. I know it's not fully figured out yet. I've worked on it today. I will work on it tomorrow. Now is not the time. And listen. It's not gonna happen instantly, especially if you're an overthinker warrior like I am.
Speaker 1
Most women. Yep. Most women.
Speaker 2
Can I just blanket that statement?
Speaker 1
Yeah. I think so.
Speaker 2
But I think it's fair. The more you practice this, I call it a personal pause. You can call it constructive worry. You can call it stressing the fuck out. You can call it whatever you want. But the more you practice it, the more you will be able to then quiet your mind a little bit more in that bedtime at that three AM, when you wanna focus more on sleeping than working out whatever you need to workout.
Speaker 0
And actually, you know what? That works. And I say this
Speaker 2
It does.
Speaker 0
Because I Yeah. I actually, without realizing it recently, managed to do this. And we had, Dominique Williams who's a social worker who works for Coven Women's Health. And we were talking about cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia, which I know you're very familiar with. And she was talking about what you mentioned just a few minutes ago, which was it's your brain is waking you up because of the change in your sleep pattern, throw in some crazy hormones, and then it's right for not sleeping. But then your brain is what's keeping you awake. And I experienced my first, I'm gonna say it was a night sweat without sweating, you know, hot flash at night. And when I first woke up, my instinct was, Oh, fuck, it's happening again. It's anxiety, but and then I was like, Oh, wait a minute. And I thought rationally about what was actually going on. And then thanks to Doctor. Jen Zelovitsky, I recognized that the volcanic eruption happening in my chest actually wasn't anxiety. I was having my first hot flash, and I was able to go back to sleep.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Like, amazing. It's talking talking yourself through it and and looking at the facts. So we do this actually a lot with our kids and our teens when we're dealing with anxiety and we're dealing with bedtime fears, and it's really breaking down the facts. I mean, this kind of simplifies things, but, like, is there a monster on your bed? Well, could a monster actually fit under your bed? Have you ever seen a monster under your bed?
Speaker 1
You know
Speaker 2
what I mean? So it's like breaking it down where they can really wrap their heads around. It's the same as you. This actually is an anxiety. This is a hot flash. I can now go to sleep. And it doesn't happen all instantaneously, but sometimes it does.
Speaker 0
Yeah. And actually, doctor Jen Zelovitsky also taught us or told us rather about you teaching her the twenty twenty twenty, I guess, process or method. And she said it's a game been a game changer for her sleep. So maybe you could tell, sorry, tell us about that.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Absolutely. Thank you. I know. I love her too. All these names that you're mentioning, I'm like, yes.
Speaker 1
Yes. Yes. Yes. There's so many great women in this community. It's amazing.
Speaker 2
You. The twenty twenty twenty is focusing on that bedtime routine, because bedtime routine is important. There's great therapies in in CBTI and cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia, and, yes, we need to focus more on what we're doing throughout the day, incorporating joy and setting boundaries and all these things. But sleep hygiene does also play a role in helping us sleep better. And And incorporating a great bedtime routine plays a role in that. It's important that we prepare our body to have a great night of sleep, and it's hard to go from a hundred to zero. You're gonna have a hard time falling asleep if you don't allow some wind down. So I like to break it out in an hour. You have one hour before you go to bed. You're breaking up that hour in three twenty minute increments. And you can block it however you wanna block it. How I block it and how I block it with my clients is the first twenty minutes is preparing for the next day. So again, pen to paper, writing out your to do list, whether it be business ideas, groceries you have to pick up at the store, phone calls you have to make, just things you have to do so that it's not swimming in your head when you do wake up at three AM. Choosing your outfit for the next day, packing your lunch, getting your kids school bags ready, all of those things. The next twenty minutes is all about you. It's the normal hygiene, not sleep hygiene, but the brushing of the teeth, the washing face, taking a shower, doing all the skin care, all those things that we like to do before we go to bed to feel great. And then the last twenty minutes is whatever kind of wind down activity works for you. And that could be talking to your partner, doing other things with your partner, reading a little bit. And I'm I'm gonna say it, and you guys might be shocked, but it also could be watching an episode of your favorite show. Mhmm. Oh, I'm allowed to do that.
Speaker 1
Okay. Let us thank you.
Speaker 2
To do that. You know, looking at a social media account that makes you feel good and not makes you feel scared, worried, stressed, anything like that. I'm not the sleep coach that will tell you to turn tech off. If you're listening to this and you are really struggling with sleep and you're like, I need to make some serious changes, yes. Tech is the biggest sleep buster in our home. It is the reason why we are such a sleep deprived society one hundred percent. So get it out of the bedroom for sure. But I also think tech can help us sleep better. And, ladies, what's your feel good show? You know how feel good shows?
Speaker 1
I'm trying to
Speaker 0
my mind right now is probably shrinking. Oh, yes.
Speaker 1
Oh my god. Stop. Of course it is. In Ted Lasso.
Speaker 0
Yeah. In Ted Lasso.
Speaker 2
I'm excited for the news. Yeah. I love shrinking. My boyfriend and I watch that all the time. I love shrinking. So yes. Okay. So, like, if watching an episode of shrinking before you go to bed is going to help you forget a really stressful day or just reduce some of that stress that you've just built up throughout the day, I'm all for it. This isn't saying watch the entire season until two o'clock in the morning. But if, like, one episode is just gonna help you feel a little lighter before you go to sleep, I have no issues with that.
Speaker 1
K. I like this. My problem is is that I used to have a television in the bedroom, and then I would fall asleep to it. And if Jason, my husband, didn't turn it off, then I would wake up to it, and then I'd be awake again. Right? Like Yes.
Speaker 2
Yes. That that's that's where we set those boundaries. Right? So that's not what I'm recommending people do.
Speaker 0
Yeah. So you're recommending watch the show outside of your bedroom?
Speaker 2
Watch the show outside of your bedroom. Yep. Absolutely. And then shut it down, get into bed, and go to sleep. So that you're again, it's it's all about while I'm saying you can still include tech in your bedtime routine, still set those boundaries. So if news, headlines are triggering, don't watch the news right before you go to bed. If there's social media accounts that trigger you, don't watch those before you go to bed or just friends in general. We all know the friends that, like, fill our tank, friends and family, and then the friends and family that do not fill our tank. Don't FaceTime with them right before you go to bed. FaceTime with the other one. Right?
Speaker 1
We need another one of those lists like we had in, our house in University of McKell. If I if this person calls
Speaker 2
I love them. We had
Speaker 1
a list on the board beside the the phone because back then we had landlines, and it was if this person calls, I'm not here. Anyway, we're I love that. Horrible. People.
Speaker 2
I have Horrible. Boundaries.
Speaker 1
Setting boundaries.
Speaker 2
That is setting boundaries.
Speaker 1
Uh-huh. We just didn't know it. No.
Speaker 0
And you know what I love about this, Atlanta, is this, like, most things we need to do in midlife falls into the category of simple but not easy. Everybody knows that sleep hygiene is important. But everybody's like, Oh, yeah. Shit. I wasn't supposed to scroll on my phone. We know all the things or they're floating around somewhere in our minds, but we don't have a plan. And it's really hard to build habit around any of this without a structure. And this is a really, like, twenty twenty twenty. Right? You can It's easy. Yeah. It's yeah. It it Simple. It's it's simple, but it it also makes it easier to actually do it.
Speaker 2
Mhmm. Absolutely. What I always tell people too about sleep is you have to look at sleep. Sleep is a pillar of health. When we look at pillars of health, we're also looking at nutrition. We're looking at physical activity and exercise. We're looking at connection. We can't go to the gym once, unfortunately, and get the body we want. We can't eat one healthy food and get the results that we want. A lot of what I talked about today is changing habits, really. It takes twenty one days to change a habit. Same with sleep. You can't just do twenty twenty twenty one night. To have an amazing night of sleep
Speaker 0
or be like, no. It doesn't work. Yeah.
Speaker 2
Exactly. I tried it. I tried it.
Speaker 0
I tried it. It doesn't work.
Speaker 2
This lady doesn't know what she's talking about. You have to make these small changes. I call it a five minute action. Just five minutes a day change something. Maybe that five minutes a day you're you're incorporating a personal pause. Maybe that five minutes a day you're not checking your phone five minutes before you wake up, or you're moving your body five minutes more, or you're incorporating five minutes of joy, micro joy. Little steps because the action isn't what motivates you. It's the motivation and the results that are going to give you that more action. It's gonna take you, okay. Now that five minutes is now gonna turn into ten minutes. It's now gonna turn into fifteen minutes. So you have to give yourself time to see the results as well is my point.
Speaker 1
So all of these incredible nuggets, these are part of your midlife sleep series. Is it some of the the great things that women are learning? And they would find your site at good night the good night sleep site dot com. Is that
Speaker 2
So good night sleep site dot com is for my babies and my toddlers.
Speaker 1
Oh, I apologize.
Speaker 2
Again dot com is the midlife space. That's where you'll find the messy middle sleep solution. This is my midlife sleep program and, how to sleep your way through divorce, and that is my divorce program. All of the way around.
Speaker 1
So tell us more about those programs, please.
Speaker 2
What we what I include in those programs, it's a one on one based program. There's an audio component as well. You have me along for the ride in all aspects, and we break it down. The chapters are included sleep hygiene because that is still important. We have a stress management and mental health component, really learning proper coping strategies and mental health tools that are going to help reduce that stress. A big and then the last two are about my divorce program. I find I I talk about how to find your divorce joy and how you can incorporate joy into any hard transition that you're going in, how that's going to help, learning to let go, setting those boundaries. There's a communication topic for my my divorce program as well, how to communicate properly with those around you, not just with your ex, but with your lawyer, with family and friends as you're going through that journey. So it's not just, yeah, it's not just about sleep, because, again, a big conversation I'm having now is so much of what we do throughout the day helps us, sleep better at night. So there's a lot of that included as well. And then I'm along for the ride, and I coach you through it.
Speaker 1
And when you say you've got an audio person for along for the ride, do I listen to you as I'm falling asleep? Is that the Lana voice?
Speaker 2
Well, I don't have that.
Speaker 1
I don't even have
Speaker 2
a voice for that. I know. But you can listen to me while you're going for a walk, getting in your steps, and getting in the tips too.
Speaker 1
Perfect.
Speaker 2
Amazing. Can
Speaker 0
we just sort of double click on the divorce program? Because I think, you know, a lot of our listeners are in that boat, and it might have its own unique sleep disruptors and or I think this is the first program I've heard about of its kind. And I would and it's like, duh. Like, yeah. Who would so can you just tell us a little bit more about that? Can we take a bit of a deeper dive on the divorce program?
Speaker 2
As a sleep expert, and I'm not just saying this because I was I am a sleep expert. I've never really struggled with sleep. Even going into the midlife space, sleep came pretty naturally for me until I went through a divorce. My situation is a bit different, but also very similar to a lot of women where I had to live with my ex throughout the divorce. Yeah. Which is something I recommend, but unfortunately something that happens to, you know, a lot of, individuals. And my sleep definitely took a hit. While we did share a bedroom, he would still use the en suite bathroom. I didn't have that safe space in the home while also shielding my kids and helping them get through the divorce as as best as I could. My sleep definitely took a hit and it made me realize that community was so important for me at that stage, really working on my own mental health. Therapy was a big lifesaver for me throughout divorce, just, individual therapy for myself. And it was the first time where I had to start putting in work towards my stress management and my sleep health because I would, you know, wake up in so many ways that I would hear my clients tell me they would wake up. You know, waking up with your heart just beating and pounding, waking up with your brain just flooded with every worry and concern. And I knew that if I kept this going, this wasn't gonna be great for me or my kids. I look at sleep sleep and stress management as a legal tool that people kind of underestimate. You don't have to wait until you get through the divorce or taking it back midlife. You don't have to wait till you get through the hard time that you're going through to sleep better or to manage your stress because sleeping better, if we're talking just about divorce, sleeping better and managing your stress is going to help you make better decisions, have more clear mind, have better reaction to communication, spend less money with your lawyer because you're not exhausted and emotional typing out these emails that is costing you a fortune. And that's the message that I wanna get get across is often when when you're going through a divorce, you're there's so many things that you're going through that your brain is thinking of. And, unfortunately, self care gets pushed to the side, and you think I'll I'll be better once I'm through it. I'll take care of myself once I'm through it. But taking care of yourself while you're going through it is going to help you get to those end goals that you're trying to work so hard towards. That's important.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Make it makes perfect sense, and it's so logical. But
Speaker 2
I think it just overlooked, probably. Wow.
Speaker 1
So, Alana, if you could sum up all of your brilliance into one one idea, one thought, what's the one thing that you want every woman to know about sleeping better in perimenopause?
Speaker 2
I thought about this. I knew you're gonna ask me this question, and my answer might not be what you expect. But I I want women to understand while I just said we have to work on it while we're going through something hard, I also want women to understand that it is okay to have a bad night of sleep. It is okay for us to have a few nights of sleep while we're going through a hard time, while our hormones are shifting and changing, while we're going through perimenopause. This isn't a recipe for what the rest of your life will be. With divorce, I try and tell my clients, your divorce is not gonna define define the rest of your story. It's gonna be part of a chapter of your story, but it's not gonna be your entire story. You will get to the other side. If you're not in your if you're in a space where you're not sleeping well, where you do have higher than usual stress levels, because you're in that midlife space and you're going through perimenopause and there's lots of shifts and transitions and life changes and all these things that are happening, You can work on your sleep and your stress management, but it's also okay to just have a shitty night of sleep. Embrace it. Don't stress
Speaker 1
And don't panic. Yeah. Don't stress my worry about it.
Speaker 2
Yeah. This isn't your story. You can you know, your lack of sleep in this moment is not gonna define the rest of your story also. A bad night of sleep could be a night where you're just going through your thoughts or getting up and cleaning up the kitchen because you finally have time to do it because everyone else is quiet in the house, like, that's also okay to do. And sometimes we need to do that. Great advice.
Speaker 0
Alana, thank you so much. This is such great information and so important for well, for everyone, but in particular, our listeners because we most of us are not sleeping well in perimenopause and or have all kinds of other things going on. And, these are really actionable bite sized things that we can throw into our toolkits and start implementing tonight. So thank you.
Speaker 2
Amazing. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 0
Thanks so much for listening to the show. If you like what you hear, please subscribe and write a review.
Speaker 1
So more women can find us and get a better understanding of what to expect in perimenopause.
Speaker 0
This information is not intended as medical advice. The intent of this information is to provide the listener with knowledge to support more efficient and effective communication with their
Speaker 2
medical provider.
