Denmark, Sweden, Iceland, Finland — the Nordic countries consistently rank as some of the happiest places on earth. Top 4 in the World Happiness Report. Year after year.

Which begs the question: what do these people know that we don’t?

Is it the social safety nets? Work-life balance? The cozy hygge lifestyle? The saunas? Sure, maybe. Any or all of these could be the secret to happiness.

But we think we’ve isolated the actual reason… They sleep under separate duvets.  It’s called the Scandinavian Sleep Method, but in these countries, it’s just how you make a bed. When a Swedish influencer TikToked about it in 2023, millions of sleep-deprived couples realized there was a better way.

Here in North America, we took a more dramatic approach… Sleep Divorce. I mean, nobody’s filing papers or dividing assets. Sleep divorce is just couples deciding to sleep in separate beds, or separate rooms, or on different schedules. Whatever it takes to get real, restorative sleep, and then show up for each other during the day.

17% of coupled Canadians are already doing it,38% have considered it, and honestly? That number is probably higher, but the rest of us are just too polite to admit that we’ve been fantasizing about uninterrupted sleep. 

Maybe we just need a better way to think about it?  Not as sleep divorce, but rather, as Dr Woganee Filate coined it, a Shared Sleep Action Plan. 

Truth is, better sleep means better mood, less resentment, and more energy for the relationship during waking hours. Chronically disrupted sleep doesn’t just make you tired. It quietly chips away at the rest of your life too.

At the end of the night, this isn’t about duvets or divorce or even the Danes. It’s about figuring out what works for you and your partner. It’s about choosing rest without losing connection.

So sleep well, and we’ll see you next Thursday, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

xoxo, Mikelle & Michelle

P.S. — Jason thinks we’re writing this newsletter because Michelle wants a new duvet. He’s not wrong. But also, he’s been hogging the blankets for years, so really, this is just journalism.

The post 💔 Sleep Divorce?!? Or could I learn a thing or two from the Danes? appeared first on This Is Perimenopause.

Some of our kaki-kai. National Menopause Show 2026.

Snow is falling outside as I write to you by the fire in my cozy chalet. As I sip my morning coffee and watch the sun rise, I can’t help but feel a sense of excitement and possibility for what’s to come.

This feeling of optimism isn’t just because it’s January and that always feels like a refresh for me. It’s also deeply inspired by the conversations Mikelle and I have been having about kōnenki, the Japanese concept of “renewal years.” 

Instead of focusing on the things we’re leaving behind during menopause, women in Japan embrace kōnenki as time for a natural transition into strength, wisdom, and a new kind of feminine power.

Take a minute to appreciate how empowering, beautiful and good that feels. It’s a reminder that menopause isn’t an ending, but a beginning – a second spring, if you will.

Let’s approach this time of life as a time to blossom, try new things, and reinvent ourselves. Whether it’s rediscovering a forgotten passion, deepening our commitment to self-care and setting boundaries, starting a company, changing careers, or choosing to leave all that work stuff behind, menopause can be a beautiful blank slate waiting for us to fill it.

One of the things we love most about kōnenki is the way it brings women together. In Japan, they have these incredible “kaki-kai,” or “menopause societies,” where women gather to share their experiences, trade advice, and support one another through this transformative time.

And while we may not have a direct equivalent in our culture, that’s exactly what This Is Perimenopause is all about. Creating a virtual kaki-kai. A place for you to find connection, inspiration, and empowerment as you navigate your own renewal years.

We want you to know that we’re here for you, and so is this amazing kaki-kai of women. Together, we can embrace the spirit of kōnenki and make this new year and new chapter of life one filled with growth, self-discovery, and a deep sense of renewal.

xoxo,

Mikelle & Michelle 

P.S. We’d love to hear how you’re embracing your own kōnenki! Reply to this email and share your intentions for 2026.

The post Kónenki 更年期 appeared first on This Is Perimenopause.

We’re here to tell you IT IS NOT! You need and deserve to be well rested. That’s why we’re so excited about our new partnership with Endy!

Partnering with a mattress company that is trusted by over 1 million happy sleepers was a no-brainer. Because with the right information and mattress, you too can reclaim your rest!

Every month during this limited series, one podcast and one newsletter will be dedicated to important sleep topics like:

• the link between sleep and weight
• the link between sleep and your healthspan
• sleep divorce, and
• tools like CBT-I

Reclaim Your Rest with Endy is kicking off with one of our favourite guests, Dr. Jennifer Zelovitzky, Clinical Director of Women’s Health and Vitality at Medcan. 

Dr. Jen has seen just about everything when it comes to sleep challenges in perimenopause, so she knows a thing or two about helping women reclaim their rest.

Start With Sleep

For pros like Dr. Jen, sleep is considered the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the menopausal transition. Often the first sign, it can wreak havoc and requires nuanced expertise to sort out. We sat down with Dr. Jen to learn how she tackles sleep disturbances.

Want to learn more? Hot of the press is a new blog from Dr. Jen about why ‘Your 7 Hours Matters More Than Ever’.

Our next Reclaim Your Rest with Endy newsletter will be in February. Be sure to keep reading because we’ve got a BIG giveaway coming as part of this series. 

Trust us, you do not want to miss out!

See you next Thursday.

xoxo,

Mikelle & Michelle

The post We Have An Exciting New Partnership! appeared first on This Is Perimenopause.

We know that there is a lot of info about MHT on our socials. There’s also a lot of misinformation, conflicting information, ongoing confusion, and even fear and stigma around MHT. 

And so this black box warning decision has left many in the dark about what this change really means.

When the FDA announced they were removing the warnings, it stirred up quite a bit of controversy. Some experts, like Dr. Jen Gunter, criticized the decision, worrying that it could lead to misinformation and an oversimplification of the risks and benefits. 

We get her concerns. This happens a lot in women’s health.

So, why did the FDA make this change?

The decision was driven by a growing body of research that challenged the previous understanding of MHT’s risks and benefits. The original study had limitations, and recent evidence suggests MHT may benefit younger, recently menopausal women.

But it’s nuanced and every woman is unique. That’s why personalized risk assessment and open conversations with healthcare providers are crucial.

Here’s what Canadian Experts are saying:

The Canadian Menopause Society applauds the FDA’s decision saying it reflects updated science that will give women better info about hormone therapy safety, especially if they start taking it before they’re 60 or within 10 years of menopause. Getting rid of the warning is a long-overdue correction that supports better care. LEARN MORE

Dr Jennifer Zelovitzky Clinical Director of Women’s Health and Vitality at Medcan, calls this a “monumental day,” noting that the warnings have misled and scared women for decades. She acknowledges some press conference statements weren’t evidence-based, but emphasizes that this warning removal is a huge step forward. LEARN MORE

Dr. Shafeena Premji leading Canadian menopause expert explains in detail why the black box warnings can scare women. Dr. Premji also outlines the differences between local/vaginal estrogen and systemic estrogen, and why they need to be evaluated differently in the context of each patient’s medical profile.  LEARN MORE

Decisions about MHT should always be made with the guidance of a qualified medical provider and require a nuanced approach.

We’re hopeful that the FDA’s decision will help reduce some fear and stigma around MHT. 

We also look forward to more research and clear, evidence-based information to help women make informed choices about their health.

Got more questions? Reply to this email and we’ll do our best to find you answers.

Can’t wait to see you next Thursday.

xoxo,

Mikelle & Michelle 

The post MHT black box warning removed. What does this actually mean? appeared first on This Is Perimenopause.

And while the holidays can bring plenty of joy and magic, they can also be a wildly stressful time. Between the pressure to create perfect memories, the financial strain of playing Santa, and the complex family dynamics; it’s no wonder we might find ourselves more frazzled than festive.

We don’t know about you, but our Christmases look a whole lot different than those picture-perfect scenes in the Holiday movies we binge watch. 

Instead of serenely sipping cocoa by the fireplace, we’re more likely to be found rage-wrapping gifts at midnight, breaking up sibling squabbles, and stress-eating Holiday treats until our pants don’t do up anymore. 

The truth is, the holidays have a way of magnifying everything – the good, the bad, and the perimenopausal.The magic of seeing the holidays through our children’s eyes is pure gold, but the meltdowns over too much sugar and too little sleep…yikes! The family time is a little more precious, but the buttons they push are a little more triggering. 

So here’s our holiday wish… let’s give ourselves permission to not be perfect. Let’s find the humor in the chaos, the beauty in the mess, and the sanity in the self-care.

It’s okay if our holidays don’t look like a Norman Rockwell painting or a Pinterest board. It’s okay to set boundaries, adjust expectations, and prioritize our own peace (even if that means hiding in the bathroom with a glass of wine for 10 minutes).

And so in the spirit of self-care (and to preserve our last shreds of sanity), we’ve decided to unplug for a bit. We’re putting the podcasts and newsletters on pause for a few weeks so we can be fully present with our loved ones and fully horizontal on the couch as much as possible.

See you January 8, 2026.

Happy Holidays,

xoxo

Mikelle & Michelle

The post All I Want for Christmas is… a nap, a night off from cooking, and maybe a quick bath. A girl can dream, right?  appeared first on This Is Perimenopause.

And it can be again. 

Last week Michelle fessed up about slut-shaming herself out of a libido. And this week we’re talking about the mind-blowing, toe-curling, sheet-gripping climax we all want – ORGASMS! 

If your orgasms have gone from “I’ll have what she’s having” to “Wait! What? Is that all?,” you’re not alone.

Declining estrogen, weak pelvic floor muscles, life stress, relationship stress, lack of sleep, and a host of other factors can all contribute to orgasms that are more of a whisper than a scream. 

But we’re not about to let your orgasms go down without a fight. We’ve got the intel you need straight from the experts.

Orgasm gone MIA?

In this podcast, sexual health expert and nurse clinician Jeanne Lefebvre shares all the stuff going on in perimenopause that can impact our orgasms. And don’t worry, she’s also got practical tips to keep your O game strong. LISTEN

Weak Orgasms?

If your orgasms have lost some of their intensity, a weak pelvic floor could be the culprit. This tip from pelvic floor specialist Aliya Dhalla offers simple exercises to workout those muscles and turn up the O! O! Ooooh! LEARN

IRIS Personal Lubricant

IRIS was created with orgasms in mind. This water-based formula with clean ingredients keeps things silky smooth and irritation-free. And happy vaginas and vulvas? They lead to orgasms that just keep coming. LOVE

Your Orgasm is Your Medicine.

Introducing the Dott Wand. A self-care product disguised as a vibrator. This magic wand melts stress, soothes your nervous system, and primes you for deeply therapeutic climaxes. Who knew!?! LOVE EVEN MORE

Well, look who’s ready to take their orgasms to the next level! With these expert tips and insights, you’re primed for some seriously satisfying climaxes.

See you next Thursday, you sexy thing!

xoxo,

Mikelle & Michelle

The post The Big O! Wait. Where’d You Go? appeared first on This Is Perimenopause.

But then life happened. Marriage. Motherhood. Suddenly, this woman who once owned her sexuality felt… inappropriate. Dangerous, even. Like she couldn’t coexist with playdates and PTA meetings.

So I did what any respectable woman would do – I locked her away. Buried her under layers of responsibility. And apparently, my desire packed her bags and went with her.

Which got me thinking… Could I have slut-shamed myself right out of my own libido?

Turns out, there’s some science behind this revelation. Because what most of us don’t know is that our most important sex organ isn’t between our legs – it’s between our ears.

Emily Nagoski explained that the brain runs the whole show. Arousal, desire, orgasm – all brain responses. Which means you can literally think your way into or out of sexual pleasure. 

She goes on to explain that sexual response works like driving a car. There’s an accelerator that notices all the sexy things (flirty texts, really listening and being present, dishes done without being asked). And brakes that notice all the reasons to tamp down the pleasure (stress, body image, garlic breath, thin walls, to do lists).

Watching this video I realized that what’s been riding my brakes for the last 20-something years is the belief that my sexy-self doesn’t belong in my married/mom life.

That confident, maybe slightly wild woman I used to be –  she didn’t die when I got married or became a mother. But somewhere along the way, I convinced myself she was inappropriate. Shameful. Like expressing sexual energy meant I wasn’t a good wife or responsible mother.

So my brain did what brains do – it registered this internal conflict as a threat and slammed on the brakes. Hard.

The result? A cycle where hiding my true sexual nature killed my desire, which made me hide it even more, which killed my desire even more.

I’m exhausted just thinking about it. The good news is I realize I haven’t lost my desire. I’ve been training my brains to ignore it.

And I couldn’t help but wonder… how many women are walking around convinced they’re ‘just not sexual anymore’ when really, they’re just exhausted from policing their own sexy energy?

So here’s to releasing the brakes. To remembering that being a sexual woman doesn’t make you a bad mother.

No more hiding the parts of ourselves that feel too wild, too hungry, too much. 

Welcome that slut back. And reintroduce her to your partner who fell in love with her, not this watered-down, sanitized version of you.

The truth is, our brains are designed for pleasure, curiosity, and connection. We just forgot to give ourselves permission to want it all.

Sex is a fun and juicy topic, so we’re talking sex again next week. In the meantime, go ahead … desire, indulge, crave. Want it all.

xoxo

Michelle

The post Could I have slut-shamed myself right out of my own libido? appeared first on This Is Perimenopause.

She wasn’t pregnant; she’s 51. And this wasn’t a food baby either. 

For weeks, she’d been having trouble emptying her bladder completely, but like most of us, she kept pushing through. It wasn’t until she realized it had been almost 18 hours since she’d peed that she finally got to the doctor.

Turns out she had a fibroid the size of a grapefruit pressing down on her urinary tract.

Flash forward to weeks of catheter bags while she waited to get scheduled for a full hysterectomy. Have we mentioned our health care system is overworked?

Her experience got us thinking about how most women don’t know what fibroids are until they become a problem. So, here’s what you need to know:

What’s a fibroid?

Uterine fibroids are muscle tumors in your uterus – but don’t panic. While ‘tumor’ sounds terrifying, fibroids are not cancerous. 

You can have a single fibroid or multiple. And fibroids can be microscopic to cantaloupe-sized. And as my friend discovered, when they grow large enough, they can press on nearby organs like the bladder, creating serious complications.

They’re pretty common; up to 80% of black women and 70% of white women will have one by age 50. Their impact can range from having no idea they exist to wreaking havoc on your well-being and quality of life.

Why do fibroids happen?

We don’t know. Like many female-specific health issues, we need more research. Fibroid-related symptoms are often dismissed as ‘part of being a woman’. And it can take years to get diagnosed. This needs to change.

Fortunately, change is on the horizon thanks to influential women advocating and supporting legislative initiatives for fibroid research funding. We applaud actor Lupita Nyong’o for sharing her story of silently suffering before having 30 fibroids removed. Her voice is paving the way for better understanding and care.

What are the symptoms?

Small fibroids typically cause no symptoms and just need monitoring. Larger fibroids can cause:

• Heavy / painful periods
• Bleeding between periods
• Bloating or fullness in lower belly
• Frequent urination or difficulty emptying bladder completely
• Pain with sex
• Lower back pain
• Constipation or rectal pressure
• Ongoing vaginal discharge
• Abdominal swelling

How are fibroids treated?

Treatment becomes necessary when fibroids cause heavy bleeding leading to anemia, significant pain, or health complications like bladder issues. The type of treatment will depend on a variety of things including symptom severity, life stage, and personal preference. Fibroids can be treated with:

• Medications: like pain relievers (ibuprofen, acetaminophen), birth control to reduce heavy bleeding, or hormone medications to temporarily shrink fibroids
• Surgeries:
  • Myomectomy – removes fibroids while keeping uterus
  • Hysterectomy – removes entire uterus (what our friend had)
  • Embolization or Ablation – different procedures that reduce blood flow to the fibroids.
  • Note: with the exception of a hysterotomy there’s a high reoccurrence rate for these procedures, meaning the fibroids can grow back.

When to see a doctor?

Contact your doctor if you experience:

• Persistent pelvic pain
• Heavy periods that interfere with daily activities
• Bleeding between periods
• Difficulty emptying your bladder
• Pressure or fullness in your abdomen
• Painful intercourse
• Constant fatigue or weakness (possible anemia)

Seek immediate care for:

• Severe vaginal bleeding
• Sudden, sharp pelvic pain
• You haven’t peed in 18 hours

Want to geek out and learn more?

Check out this post by Dr. Jen Gunter. It covers everything from the theories on why fibroids happen to the treatment option details. 

Look, we get it. We’re all busy and it’s easier to ignore symptoms than deal with them. But please don’t wait until it’s been a day since you’ve peed to take action.

Take care and we’ll see you next Thursday.

xoxo,

Mikelle & Michelle

The post “Ugh! I haven’t peed all day and I look six months pregnant.” appeared first on This Is Perimenopause.

On August 30th, my son Fynn moved into residence at Wilfrid Laurier University, just down the road from us here in Waterloo. I thought the proximity would soften the blow of him leaving home. I was wrong.

On move-in day, I walked from my husband’s work to Fynn’s residence and I felt like I was going to throw up. The irony was not lost on me – he’s literally a 5-minute walk away – and here I was, in full panic mode. 

But what I’m learning about empty nesting is that logic and distance have absolutely nothing to do with the heart-punch of watching your one-and-only become independent.  Even when that independence happens just five minutes away.

Empty nesting is about:

• sitting in his bedroom at 2pm on a Tuesday, feeling this weird mix of proud and sad and completely untethered all at once. 
• having endless amounts of time to think about who I am now beyond ‘Fynn’s mom,’ and who I want to become in this next chapter.
• reconnecting with my husband and figuring out what our relationship looks like now that our shared project of raising a human is in maintenance mode rather than active construction.
• and (perhaps most challenging of all) it’s about the shift from daily face-to-face interactions to carefully crafted text messages that I overthink for twenty minutes before hitting send.

Because if I actually sent him every thought I had, he’d for sure block my number. So I try to tamp down the crazy and just be the chill mom who respects boundaries. 

Only cause we’re friends, here’s what the unfiltered crazy and the internal editing process looks like…

So that’s my life now. Translating ‘I MISS YOUR FACE’ into acceptable emojis and pretending I’m totally fine with thumbs-up responses. 

Apparently it gets easier. And I’m starting to get excited about what this next chapter might hold for me (stay tuned, I have some ideas brewing).

And if you’re also in the ‘staring at your phone waiting for literally any sign of life from your newly independent kid’ club… Welcome! The meetings are daily, and we serve wine.

xoxo,

Michelle

The post Empty Nest & I’m a Hot Mess appeared first on This Is Perimenopause.

“A young woman stepped up the the counter. She wasn’t in anyone’s way. She wasn’t interrupting. 

And yet – before she even placed her order, the first words out of her mouth?

‘Oh, sorry…’ 

She wasn’t apologizing for anything. She was shrinking herself.”

These words stopped me in my tracks.

I say ‘sorry’ all the time, thinking I’m just being polite. The reality is I’ve been using it as a social buffer to soften my presence.

And I knew immediately that I had to start working to change this pattern. Because in the words of Dr. Corry: “every time you apologize for taking up space you’re sending yourself a powerful message: “You first. Me second.”

Dr. Corry specializes in helping women change the patterns that once helped us to survive, but are now keeping us small.

If you’re feeling drained, unseen, and like you’re carrying the weight of every relationship, it’s not just the hormones. We all develop patterns, or schemas, early in life to adapt to our environments. And as we get older, they start to work against us. 

Do any of these examples from Dr. Corry sound familiar?

Over-functioning: you’re the one who ‘just handles everything’.

Self-silencing: you swallow your needs to ‘keep the peace’.

Approval-seeking: you replay conversations in your head. You say yes when you want to say no.

Self-deprecating Humour: making jokes at your own expense, often without noticing you’re doing it and usually to soften your presence.

Hyper-independence: you don’t ask for help – even when you’re drowning.

Emotional Caretaking: you anticipate needs. You absorb their moods. Your try to keep everyone happy.

Over-apologizing: you apologize for taking up space, for asking a question, for needing something.

It’s no wonder we’re exhausted, resentful, feeling invisible, and experiencing unprecedented levels of anxiety and depression.

Want to learn about the patterns that keep us small and how to break them? Keep reading.

Become Self-led

Dr. Corry says self-trust and self-respect are the best antidepressants. Find out why, and how to achieve a life where you are showing up for yourself by trading in the anxiety and hypervigilance for clarity.

Stop Apologizing

This is the post that stopped me in my tracks. Where I realized that I’m over-apologizing all the time. And that with every ‘sorry’ I’m reinforcing the belief that I’m an inconvenience and need to apologize for taking up space.

Are You A Carrie?

You know that delicious feeling of being magnetized to someone? It’s often your nervous system tuned to equate emotional distance and unpredictability with love. Dr. Corry can help you unpack this pattern too.

What Is Schema Therapy?

Want to better understand this method to better understand yourself? Check out this resource recommended by Dr. Corry. It’s powerful stuff.

We needed to start taking responsibility.

Perimenopause can be brutal. We know first hand. 

Finding relief has meant building an extensive toolkit. Things like healing our relationship with food, adding weight lifting to our cardio activities, and starting MHT. 

And perhaps most importantly, we needed to realize how much agency we have over who we are and how we show up in the world. 

We needed to start taking responsibility.

Because we didn’t ‘just lose ourselves’. We’ve been slowly and unwittingly giving her away for decades. And now we’re learning to break those patterns, and show up authentically – without apology.

We hope you’ll join us.

xoxo,

Mikelle & Michelle

The post You Need To Meet Dr. Justine Corry appeared first on This Is Perimenopause.